You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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