a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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