so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My dick has a subreddit
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
