well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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