she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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