O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
