The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
