i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
