It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
