We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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