So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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