Its about making memories worth repressing
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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