Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
