Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
