you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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