my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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