I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
