you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
