Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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