I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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