ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
