just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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