its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
what day is it and did you see me today?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
