I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
