3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
