i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
