come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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