so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
