we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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