She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
