Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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