nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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