remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
