She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize