He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
