In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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