i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
