About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize