youre lurking in front of me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
