Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
