yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize