some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
