ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize