I am puke
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
