then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
