I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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