After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
