my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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