I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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