I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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