Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize