O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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