if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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