I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
