Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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