ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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